Thursday Night Throwdown

In just a few short hours it’s on again. NSC is gonna burn up some bandwidth with the fastest turnin’ and burnin’ the net has ever seen. And with all the expectation surrounding Horne’s return to the NSC, let’s not forget “The Big Man,” “Cheex” a.k.a. Michael Cheek. The NSC’s late-season entry who went on to become the Overall Grand Champion and current Fastest Man 100m record holder. Cheex has been battling a back injury throughout the entire second season so he’s not quite up to the form that people generally know him for. And according to those that know him best, the man hates to lose more than Charlie Sheen, and he’s eager to prove he’s back (no pun intended) in full form. Maybe he should get his hair cut like The Situation…that’d show ’em he’s serious.

Separated at birth? I hope he skates better than he roasts...

Then there’s one man who’s billed as a Hurricane – who never lets the crowd down and always keeps the energy up. World Champion Harry Vogel, who dodged every opportunity to be a part of the NSC in Season 1, is in for the action and looking to destroy anyone or anything standing in his path to victory. I saw Harry skate at indoor nationals last year, and if he’s still got the heat, he’ll burn the track up tonight.

Let’s not forget Justin Stelly. This guy can throw a pass on a Bugatti Veyron at top speed. He’s the one I’m always referring to when the Rink Rabbits want to know what a pass looks like. Stelly has been overshadowed with second place finishes to Bowen all season in the Grand Champion race but he’s still the Endurance champ. Apparently, tonight he’s looking to prove he’s not the official First Loser of the NSC. We’ll see…

Live feed starts at 6:45 PST / 9:45 EST – click the banner, bring the noize!

Crank it up babies!

Banannas for St. Patty’s Day

This NSC season has been insane so far. Even Charlie Sheen was rumored to have said, “Damn, that’s crazy,” when he and the goddesses hit up the live feed for East Coast Carnage last month. TMZ is reporting that NSC is what drove Charlie off the deep end…the timing seems to confirm this.

Before and after East Coast Carnage...coincidence? I think not.

That event was killer…it took the show live to the masses, and from what I hear from those that were there, the racing was fast, the presentation was professional and the event…it FELT huge. That’s great for the sport, and the guys at National Speedskating Circuit deserve our support.

This coming week, NSC returns home to the West Coast for Thursday Night Throwdown. Indoor inline speedskating superstars William Bowen, Michael Cheek, Chad Horne, Harry Vogel, Stephen Carter, Justin Stelly, Jarret Paul, Jeremy Anderson, and many more will be lighting up the West Coast with untamed tiger’s blood.

And like any good sports media event, the plot is getting thicker…check it out – there really is going to be a throwdown going into this next event…

Bowen is a bad azz...and Horne is looking to grab the spotlight.

It seems like the chip on Chad Horne’s shoulder has done nothing but grow since last season. With Mantia pulling out, Horne has yet to find that satisfaction that guys at that level need to feel whole. So now he’s targeting Will “The Wild Thing” Bowen, and Bowen has been bringing it since getting back from Worlds…he’s currently ranked number 1 in NSC – Grand Champion, Top Sprinter and the 100M Fastest Man.

A clone war would be sick.

So you’ve got to admire the fire running through Horne’s veins…he’s always going after the big game. Bowen hasn’t lost a single race the entire season, and according to inside sources, he’s even been claiming to be unbeatable. WINNING! Horne’s been sitting on the sidelines watching all of this while recovering from an ankle injury, and he’s chomping at the bit. Those close to him are saying he’s getting downright unruly like a schoolyard bully, ready to stomp on Bowen’s feelings and snatch the title right from his hands.

Bowen’s stellar performance this season has been driving Horne nuts. It’s ugly…psychologically, the man is cracking. You’d be too, being sidelined and helpless in the face of Bowen’s reign of terror. With each one of Bowen’s victories, sources say Horne becomes more and more eager, more
frustrated, and more motivated. They call this guy “The Unibomber” for a reason, and with his return this Thursday night, his fuse is set to blow.

It’s Turn and Burn Time Baby…

You can view the live feed FREE by clicking the banner Thursday night starting at 9:45 EST, 6:45 PST.

They better be careful, I’m thinking about coming out there myself and showing them all Whut Fer…

Inline texting

Texting. It’s something you just have to do if you want to communicate with anyone too young to remember the original line-up of KISS. I have to admit, I take a dim view of it, best summed up by Bradley Cooper in the movie The Hangover. My great fear is that one day my sorry butt’s gonna get clipped by someone texting while otherwise engaged…

It took 57 blocks to catch the jam skater, 2 seconds to get a 28" wheel up the keister.

Still, I do appreciate the shorthand nature of texting. But being a marketing consultant working with Baby Boomers, I’ve come to learn that it’s going to be a while before the older set gets on-board with anything other that LOL or LMAO.

So…in an effort to bridge the generational divide, here’s a quick study in texting for skaters. No matter how old you are, you’ll be able to use these to let your skate buddies know URHIP:

FS – False start

BFF – Back four feet

LOL – Last off line

WTF – Way too fast (What did you THINK it meant?!)

LPWO – Late pass wipe out

PPPANTS – Power pass placement advancement needs top speed

ROTFSMAO – Rolling on the floor, skating my azz off

NOHOMO – I really admire your form

NSIM – The one and only Northshore Inline Marathon (can’t joke about that)

CSOT – Can’t sit on toilet

K – Okay (because OK wasn’t short enough)

CWDS – Can’t walk down stairs

BOTP – Back of the pack

LEGS – Mantia spotting

GFTL – Go fast, turn left

BMTB – Broke my tail bone

RROMK – Rink rash on my knees

RROMA – Road rash on my azz

360 – SDotCarter just threw a signature pass

FART – Fell attempting right turn

SWTO – Speed Weenie twelve o’clock

T2TB – Time to turn & burn

LOLL – Lapped on last lap

911 – Call an ambulance, I think I broke something

911!!! – Call the next of kin, this guy is toast

CAT5 – I’m going to eat this guy’s lunch (Go on, get upset about it)

CAT4 – Well, look at you! See ya!

CAT3 – Damn, that was fun but I broke a sweat…and I think I have a hernia.

CAT2 – Can I draft behind you? Uh, wait…this was a bad idea…why don’t you just leave me alone… please…sorry.

CAT1 – Hey, that’s a sweet bike you’ve got there. Can I buff your seat?

BIFF – Bit the big one

There have got to be others…feel free to share!

Don’t forget the live NSC FEED happening tonight and tomorrow, live from Roanoke, VA. Click the link below, it’s T2TB.

Power play

I’m generally a realist…meaning that I know how far I can push my influence with those people, places and things I come into contact with. When the highlight of your day becomes telling your favorite barista how you want your coffee prepared, then being happy if they got even half the order right, you’ll be able to connect with my experience. You’ll come to know my power…

The smell was a bit..."put-off-ish" but it went down smooth.

As the new year rolled into being, I was struck with that once a year resolve to be the master of my universe and make things happen. I enjoy doing this blog, and being a slave to ego, I want to see it grow, because when it comes to my narcissistic tendencies, this blog pays the bills. So I started to think about finding more sponsors, and I drew up a long list of prospects…Skate manufacturers, wheel makers, online retailers, race directors…I was on a roll. But then I stopped, because the itty-bitty committee in my head was getting out of control. I was looking at piles of logos to fill up the right rail of the blog page, and thinking to myself…”Is that really what this is all about?”

The short answer was no. This blog is about my experience as a skater, and my humble exercises in writing. I’m engaged with my sport in a “literary sense” and that’s pretty cool. Not something I thought would last when I started this thing. So now that it’s rolling into its second year, I thought I could do more with it to promote the sport itself. That would be a noble outcome.

So I thought that reaching out to the National Speedskating Circuit would be a great way to start. I have a lot of respect for what Miguel Jose and Joey Mantia are doing with NSC. They are truly bringing the sport up to a more contemporary entertainment standard, and that entertainment is pretty intense if you like your action fast (and clad in spandex…but I won’t go into that here.)

So I fired off an email to Miguel, and, in the spirit of full disclosure, told him I was willing to sell-out all of my journalistic integrity for an NSC t-shirt and free access to the Live Feed for the events. He wrote back and told me that the Live Feed was going to free for everyone this year. So I just put 2 + 2 together (for no good reason) and decided I’d take credit for his decision right here, because I’m always looking for an opportunity to self-promote!

IMHO…NSC is the best thing to hit indoor inline speed skating in the time I’ve been following the action.

Support your sport and watch the best of the best battle it out next Monday, January 24, 2010 – ON ME…ONLINE…FOR FREE!

Monday Night Mayhem is coming, and season 2 is gonna be the Bomb Track of 2011. It’s turn and burn time, baby!

Carnage

If you haven’t seen this video yet, check it out. S.Dot.Carter is my hero…

Man, there’s so much going on in this video, and the commentary at the end really helps put what NSC is all about into context. Seriously, this video is far superior to any of those, well, not too convincing, dry FIRS videos they make every few years to get inline speed skating sold into the Olympics. The guys at NSC know what they need to do to sell their vision in today’s media environment. This is great stuff.

Spread the word – share this video with your friends who still call you a “Rollerskater” and snicker behind your back at your spandex-clad keister and the idea that you spend hours participating in a sport that involves little more than chasing other grown-ups around a roller rink with what amounts to a child’s toy strapped to your feet. As if.

To all the naysayers…come out and play.

The Eighth Day of Inline Christmas

And on it goes…

T’was the eighth night before Inline Christmas when what from my blind side crashed into my ear, but a big iron skillet thrown at me from rear. T’was Horseypants’ rage bout what my Ninth Day blog pic is, which I contend was for humor, but she said was just sexist. “Women in panties on skate blogs there’s no place!” She screamed and she swore as she stomped on my face. And as I lie broken, all bleeding and shaken, she said she was sorry, she’d just been mistaken. While she maintained that the pic was just crude and degrading, she could see now, the post was a joke about ‘bating.

"There are eight of us, why do I have to milk it? How do you even milk a Hutt?! I've got a bad feeling about this..."

Wow…took some heat on that one. And you didn’t know it, but you’ve dodged a bullet too. To make up for my boorish post, she originally wanted me to pose in MY underwear and skates and post it here…a piece of man-meat to be ogled and salivated over. Yeah…well not only would that not be the result of you seeing an image like that, but clearly an apology is in order. I didn’t mean to offend women, and in particular any female skaters, and if I did I’m sorry. Women definately belong in the NSC, and when there’s enough interest from the women in our sport, NSC’s said there’s a home for them. It’s only a matter of time, and it will be great to see that happen, really.

So…back to our Santa list, cause there’s still so much to share, and banish those thoughts of FirstLoser in underwear. These next finds are actually something you might really use to work those legs and skate muscles in the winter months…

If I spot one of these bad-boys in Goodwill, I'm all over it.

Available exclusively from Hammacher Schlemmer, this compact lateral stepping machine’s side-to-side skating motion develops muscles in thighs, glutes, abdominals, and oblique muscles while improving overall balance. When the exercise session is over, it can easily be folded and stored away. The tubular steel frame has non-slip end caps and a carrying strap, and an integrated computer that tracks number of steps, session time, total steps, and calories burned. You Unfolded: 13″ H x 14″ W x 37″ L; folded: 23 1/2″ H x 17″ W x 14″ L. (19 lbs.)

...but when money is no object, I'ma get me some a dem pants.

This is the only cardiovascular trainer that rotates laterally to sculpt the lower body while delivering a vigorous fat-burning workout. I seriously want to try one of these out. Unlike elliptical machines, treadmills, and steppers that focus exclusively on the front and back of the legs, this patented machine’s horizontal figure-eight motion engages the total leg, zeroing in on hard-to-tone areas in the outer and inner thighs and glutes. While the lateral trainer provides excellent sports-specific training for skiers, golfers, and tennis players, any user will benefit from its superior toning and conditioning. The intensity of workouts is easily adjusted at the turn of a tension knob. An LCD readout displays heart rate, calories burned, RPM, speed, distance, and time. Because the trainer requires no electrical power, it can be set up anywhere (requiring less floor space than a treadmill) and operates quietly. You probably wouldn’t be able to read while you use it, but that’s a sacrifice I’d be willing to make if this really works. 65″ H x 48″ W x 36″ D. (140 lbs.)