Tag Archives: Simmons Racing

What’s your name?

Fame. Recognition. Most of us crave it, whether we acknowledge it or not. And to be recognized by a total stranger in a crowd of Los Angelenos, well, that’s a taste of something else. It’s a fleeting taste of Warholian Utopia – that fluttering fifteen minutes that guys like The Situation (who?) are dying to hold onto. Last weekend, in a moment far less awkward than being recognized by Reverend Smedley as I was leaving the Adult Extreme Gift Store, it happened to me…I was recognized as being a speed skater.

“Oh, I just stopped here to strap on.”

I’ve always wondered what that would be like, to be called out in a crowd. When it happens to you, it doesn’t seem real. Especially in LA. When you hear the classic conversation opener, “Excuse me, are you…” you just assume they’re asking B-movie legend Leo Rossi, whose standing behind you waiting for his turn on the captain’s chair at LA Fitness. Or character actor and financial planner Benjamin Lemon, whose standing at the urinal next to you at the University Club, or soap opera star and fishing show host Réal Andrews, who’s teaching the local kids how to throw a football. So when I heard the phrase uttered as I was waiting in line to use the restroom with my son at The Huntington Library & Gardens, I just assumed some other legend of the silver screen was within proximity. I’ve become so “LA” that I’ve tuned this opener out to the extent that I barely heard the woman finish…”Excuse me, are you… a speed skater?”

Most of it went by me, but I must have caught that all-too-familiar two syllable word at the end of that phrase, cause I turned and looked in her general direction, but honestly, it was because I was expecting to maybe see Apolo Ohno or Alison Baver standing nearby doing the “gotta go, gotta go” dance with the rest of us. But then this woman and her friend were looking at me.  I saw her mouth move in slow motion as she again asked, “Are you a skater?” It was at that point that a few more women in line turned and looked at me, and I suddenly found myself in the spotlight of celebrity. They were all looking at me, the way America witnessed Tom Cruise unraveling on Oprah…or at least that’s how it felt.

I gots freaky sensitivity baby!

And here’s where I’ve been reliving the moment since this star-crossed encounter. Man…I’m no where near as cool as I like to think I am. Is it any wonder? I see myself one way, but I know the world sees me in another. Like, you know, of all the celebrities in our modern day Gomorrah, I think I most like Gene Simmons’ style. He’s the guy I’d most like to see myself as. The man is the King of Cool. He never looses his composure, knows how to speak to anyone, and always has something cool to say. Even if it’s, “You know, I’ve never signed a spleen before.”, if it’s Gene uttering it, it’s cool. That’s how I’d like to be with “my public”. But the reality, I’m just a dork like anyone else, and when I’m put on the spot, I got nothin’. Like mini-KISS without the make-up, I’m just a (mental) midget in a wanna-be world.

So there I am, standing downwind from nine aromatic public toilets, and sweaty crowds that have been feasting on ribs and chicken, and I’m like, “Yes!” And here’s where my ego takes over…I’m getting ready to be told how much of a difference my blog has made in her otherwise meaningless and unfulfilled, void of a life, and how great I am and how much she wishes I was getting paid to write this blog. How I’m King S#!t on top of Turd Mountain, when she points at my shirt and says, “I wore Simmons boots for years!”

They’ll know us by our oddly formed feet…

Ah! That was it…the big reveal. It wasn’t me, but another Mr. Simmons – Dave Simmons – and his world-famous logo shirts that had been spotted. Not my monster calves. Not my incredible quads and athletic build. Not my handsome face that’s been hacked onto a host of unflattering images in the name of comedy. No. It was my Simmons Racing T-shirt.

Caught in the moment, it didn’t matter why, it was just that fact that I’d been recognized as a speed skater that took me by surprise. So I say, “Yes, I am!” And she tells me she how she’d worn Simmons boots for years.

I was like, “Right on!” and gave her the two thumbs up sign.

And that was it.

There was this awkward silence and exchange of looks, both with her and with her friend. Then a waft of what was waiting for them in that restroom they were waiting for, followed by a heaping helping of the urge to get out of there quickly. I nodded, grabbed my son’s hand and split.

As I’ve mulled it over, and over and  over, I so wish it had been in another place, like maybe just outside in the Pavillion. I could have had a conversation with her, instead of being distracted by ladies waiting to use rank toilets. I could have been really cool, like Gene, and said, “You know, you’re the first person to ever recognize me in a skating shirt.” But no…I was just, me. And don’t get me wrong, it’s good to be…me, but, you know, it would have been cool if she’d actually known who I was. I’m so vain, and I know it. I could have asked her how long she’d been a skater, who had she skated with, why did she stop, and I could have encouraged her to get back out there. But no, I was a weenie. A socially awkward nerd with a need for speed.

But you know what? It’s all good, cause at the end of the day, I don’t do this for the glory. That ship sailed long ago, before I even knew what inline speed skating was. So I’ll just keep doing it for my main reason, so I can keep eating pizza and wearing spandex.  Bully for you, chilly for me. Fame. You can have it.

I’m a freak, this I know…

In a world where it’s news that Mariska Hargitay is proud to be a size 8 – a news story that actually warranted an update 2 hours after it was originally published – I’m declaring my freakdom. I’m a skate spaz, the kind you don’t bring home to mother. I’m a skate-tweaker if there ever was one. When it comes to skating, I think I think too much.

Funkin' up your pace line, b!@#$!

It’s taken me forever to decide which skates to roll in the upcoming Northshore Inline Marathon. It’s a big deal for me. It’s the only race I’ll skate this year. Wanting to beat my time from 2009 and finish with the lead pack becomes a tall order when you consider the field I’m rolling in is filled with the best skaters in the country in this age class – Norm Kirby, Tony Muse, Ryan Chrisler, Richard Cassube, the list goes on…including my bud Noel Creager – we came up together this year! I’m truly excited to have the opportunity to start with these guys. I’ve been visualizing the pace lines, breakaways and speed all year. I’ve watched several of these guys break a few records and win a race or two this season. They’re inspiring to watch. Hell, my coach skated with and against a lot of these guys back in the day…they know how to skate. They’re truly a different class of skater. If you’d have asked me a few years ago if I thought I’d be in the same wave with any of these guys, the answer would be…ah, no.

I’ve been training hard. All with a mind to be able to grab onto that pack and hold on till the finish, just to beat my time from last year. All things being equal in terms of weather and road conditions, that’s my goal. I’ve trained religiously on my Rollerblade Racemachines modified with a CadoMotus 4×110 DualBox frame and Road War Reds (thanks to CadoMotus.) The coach downgrade my wheel size about a month and a half ago, then we ruined a perfectly good pair of Buck Bearings by loading them with axle grease. To top it off, we added in a few extra pounds of weight per ankle with some strap-on weight bands. We came to call this “Beat Feet.” It was brutal, but I did what I was told to do.

I've been training on these all year. Great training skate, at 3 lb, 02 oz.

Hills in the heat. Intervals and sprints. Tabata and Super-slow, 5-6 days a week. In Beat Feet mode my goal was to get my speed back up to where it was before Beat Feeting it. Talk about tough. But I’ve heard through the grapevine that these guys I’ll be on the line with work harder than that. Thus, I’m super obsessed with the idea of doing my best.

When I start thinking about this stuff too much, my mind is a dangerous place. I become my own worst enemy. Like Harvey Keitel in Bad Lieutenant, I go places I know I shouldn’t, thinking things unspeakable, and smoking way to much crack…

How'd I turn my skinsuit inside out?!

Not quite OCD, it’s disturbing nonetheless. I lose sight of the original goal. It gets perverted into something Nick Cage will try to remake 20 years from now, and it’s ugly.

Last year it was all about form. Early in the season I read 10 Minute Toughness and I crafted a performance statement that I repeated as my skate-mantra (Get Low, Down in the Heel, Full Blade to the Side, Fall Forward.) It served me well.

This year it’s been form and function. Function of form and function of equipment. For me, it’s a lot easier and cheaper to focus on function of form. I’d even say it’s more beneficial in the long run. But you know as well as I do that any skate-gear-head will ultimately come around to, (ah-hem,) evaluating his equipment. And when it comes to playing with it, (my equipment,) I have a lot to learn.

One of the things I’ve learned this year…if you’re going to put 110 frames & wheels on your boots, it’s best if the boot was actually designed to be used with 110mm wheels. The Racemachines I’ve been working with were designed for a max 104mm wheel. Since everyone and their Grandma will be on 110’s this year, it’s really where I needed to be. So I got the 110 set-up and discovered that the second wheel wasn’t spinning freely under the mounting block. So, I made a simple retro-fit using slices of credit cards for shims to jack up the front deck height to get the second wheel to clear the bottom of the boot. Easy, peesy…

For most of the training season I was skating just fine with the front of my boot about 1/4 inch higher than the heel. It really helped me get “Down in the Heel” with my push. I was hitting record times! Then, I got the CadoMotus Pro 110’s and immediately learned that being able to “feel the blade” under my entire foot, from ball to heel, made a big difference in the amount of power being generated by my stride. But my heel and toes were level. This was a great discovery, but as fate would have it I would end up trashing the CadoMotus boots before having the chance to really skate in them. Bummer…but great learning experience & knowledge gained.

Shortly after this discovery, Joey Mantia put up a video blog talking about foot pressure. Another validation point along this path to discovery of a new push.

Then, to my horror, my wife and kids accosted me on my birthday…freaking held me down on the ground by my throat, burned me with a crack pipe and forced a new pair of Simmons Pro M1’s on me for my big 4-0. I took it like a man, but in my shock and confusion over their grotesquely violent presentation of this milestone birthday gift I made a retreat to the internet and did a lot of reading about about how the Pro M1 boot was made. Putting aside my PTSD over the gift giving smack-up, I came to learn something new about the power-points that we should all be focused on if we want maximum control and power transfer. It all dovetailed with what I’d learned on my own with the CadoMotus boots, so I knew I was onto something important. I put the trauma of my birthday behind me and moved on.

With all of this knowledge (and a seven week wait for the Pro M1’s) I resumed my attack on the Racemachines. I was steadfastly determined to wear these skates in this years NSIM as a way of saying thanks to Rollerblade for all of the support they’ve given me and Speedy Weezy this past year. So, the next mod was designed to correct the lop-sided deck height.  It was another simple one…I raised my heel with another 1/4 inch of shim. This was too easy!

My wife was very happy to see such a productive use of my credit cards.

Well, the saggy trumpet began playing because I immediately noticed a significant loss of power transfer in my stride. Having the frame separated from the boot by 1/4 inch of credit card at both mounting points pretty much opened the door to have the energy I was creating just swoosh right through the mounting screws and into thin air, leaving very little to be passed through to my push and roll. I also started getting hot spots on my ankles and insole that hadn’t been there before. I had to work a lot harder to make the skate responsive and I started going through a lot of band-aid donuts and eZeeFits (I cut holes in a thick pair of eZeeFits hoping that would relieve pressure on my ankle bone…it didn’t.) All this because I was trying to wear a boot that I was forcing to do something it’s not really designed for…

After Beat Feeting it for the last six weeks, I’d become painfully aware of how much the weight of your skate, deck height and the design of the foot bed impact you ability to achieve top speed. There was no going back on this stuff. Knowledge gained makes half-assed efforts fall even shorter, because you become aware of your massive half-assed-ness and lose ground you once held through ignorance. To make matters even worse, my Pro M1’s arrived, but they were clearly going to need to be broken in before attempting any serious distance in them. And again, being determined to make the Rollerblade’s work, I didn’t really even consider that I’d wear the M1’s in Duluth this year. Sooo…

Changing the frame .05 oz per boot.

With a firm sense of purpose, I next set out to see if I could improve my situation with the Rollerblade’s through chop-shop methodology. The first thing I did was try and shave some weight by swapping out the frames. I took the Simmons 411’s that came on my Pro M1’s and put them on. Not only did that shave some weight, it lowered the deck height and corrected some of the power transfer issues. Wow – that was easy!

Um, yeahhh…not quite. Try as I might, I couldn’t keep my foot down in the bed (the RB boot is a half size too big, which was never an issue till there was a frame under them that fit the boot without shimming) and now my heel was actually rising because of the new method of pushing I’ve been practicing. What to do…

Give in. And that’s what I’ve done. The itty-bitty committee in my head went on way too long, got too far down in the weeds and ultimately lost sight of the goal. Instead of trying to do my best and beat last years time, it became all about trying to “do the right thing” by Rollerblade. And I know that’s not how they’d want me thinking. They want me focused on achieving a skating goal, not a political goal. So here we go…ready or not, I’m rolling my Pro M1’s in Saturday’s race. The Rollerblade Racemachine’s have been an excellent training tool, and they’ll remain in the feet-fleet. But this weekend I need free my mind of the clutter I tend to create and focus on my goal. To give it my best this weekend you’ll see me on the starting line in these…

All that to get to this...Simply The Best choice I could make.

The Pro M1’s are a skate fiend’s dream. Happy birthday to me.

It's how I roll, run and tell that, homeboy.

See you in Duluth. May you achieve your goal, whatever that is!

Training Log: It’s been a lot of the same you’ve come to expect…I skate a lot. Tapering this week has been made easier by all of the smoke in the air due to the wild fire burning down in Boulder. Lot’s of folks out of homes and lots of destruction. All this skating stuff is somewhat meaningless in comparison. Hoping and praying that the fire is contained as quickly as possible and that no one gets hurt.