Crazy Glenn Koshi is the only guy I know who’s got more bootie than he knows what to do with. He’s flush with lycra and neoprene love. He’s been keeping your ankles blister-free as long as Lance Armstrong’s been denying he’s a doper. And as costs have gone up year after year, he’s done the right thing by us and kept his prices steady. Well, apparently, the Feds have figured out that his profit margin was just way too high, and now they’re looking to him to bail the country out. Yes, as a part of the fiscal cliff compromise, Crazy Glenn is taking it in the sport shorts, and passing on the tough-love to you…
Boehner soon recognized he was dealing with Glenn the Metal God and decided to tax him an extra 666%. Pelosi just wanted to bed him.
The Man has come knockin’ one too many times, and Glenn’s at the point of having to pass the cup to you, the hard-working, middle-class skater. It could be worse, but knowing how tough things are out there, he’s giving us a head’s up:
Effective Feb. 1, 2013, Ezeefit are going to have a price increase of $1 per pair of the Ankle Booties and Full Foots. You’re getting the inside scoop here, and you’re getting the chance to stock up before the prices go through the roof. Place your orders before 2/1/13 and avoid the extra charge. But you need to act fast!
Tell those schmucks in Washington D.C. to go balance the budget, offset the deficit and reduce our debt somewhere else. Stick it to The Man and get your orders in now, at ezeefitsports.com, for God’s sake, before it’s too late! For God, Country and Bite-Free Ankles Everywhere!
Your favorite Japanese-American Leprechaun is at it again! Crazy Glenn is breakin’ open his treasure chest o’ skatin’ pleasures to help you save a little green-beer money this St. Patty’s Day:
"They may get me wheel deals, but they'll never get me Lucky Charms!"
Be lookin’ over these four leaf clovers why don’t ‘cha:
White G3 wheels, two sets available, $50 shipped. ♣ 100mm Hyper indoor Kaos wheels, $50 shipped. ♣ 110mm/87a Pink High Rollers (white hub) $60 shipped. Email Glenn today! Glenn916@yahoo.com
As I be lookin’ at these prices I’m thinkin’ he’s off his rocker for sure. The British occupied Ireland for 275 years, and no where in that time did they ever see deals like these! Glenn’s lettin’ ya dip into his Pot o’ Gold on this one, so go grab ’em while they last cause once they’re gone deals like this will be as hard to find as Whee Willie up under the kilt on a cold St. Patty’s night!
When he’s not out generously donating his time helping local co-eds master their competitive Octabong skills, Crazy Glenn is cooking up deals just for First Loser readers…
"No honey, c'mon...bend your elbow, head back further, wider gullet. You can do this."
And man, oh man, this one’s better than a campus panty raid…8 new 110mm wheels for less than the price of 4!
LIMITED SUPPLY: 2 sets of indoor Hypers: 1 set bright green Intensity wheels (for slick floors) and 1 set of pink Havoc wheels (harder, more roll.) Your choice, ONLY $55 per set PLUS free shipping…
Get them while they last!
Once they’re gone, that’s it! I almost didn’t share this one, but I just got new wheels so you’re in luck!
EMAIL GLENN TODAY: email@example.com
So rather than waking up the next day under a pile of empty tall-boys with your face in an ashtray, take your beer bong money and feed your need for speed, cause this deal won’t be here for long!
Crazy Glenn – his skate gear prices are INSANE!!!!!!!