Like Judge Roy Moore finding out there’s a new mall opening right next door to the high school filed hockey complex, I felt a twitch and jumped for joy when I read that they were finally connecting the paved trails between two of the most skate-friendly towns on the planet – Loveland and Fort Collins, Colorado. It was too good to be true, and long overdue.
But sho’ nuff, it’s done, and open, and glorious! Two pristine new miles of smooth concrete connecting the 35 miles of trail network in Fort Collins to the 18 miles I lost me belly on the first time in Loveland. I’ve spent countless hours striding and gliding in both towns, and now it’s all come together. Eventually, this may be integrated into a bigger project, the larger Front Range Trail system, which will extend from New Mexico to Wyoming. I imagine a trail like that would see more action that a Ficus tree in Harvey Weinstein’s private casting room, but in a much more wholesome way…gives me a chubby just thinking about it.
The new two mile stretch cost an estimated $1.2 million dollars to build. At $600,000 a mile, it’s cheap compared to the hundreds of millions of dollars being spent on medical facilities being built to accommodate the deteriorating American couch sloth. We’re now the most obese nation on the planet, with nearly 40% of the population tipping the scale harder than Kevin Spacey groping for glory in the Newsies dressing room. It’s obscene!
And so, hats off to the region’s open lands and trails managers, who’ve done the community a huge service with this extension. If more people are encouraged to get out there and recreate, maybe we can all pull back a few inches on the belt by this time next year, a payback and ROI that’ll be well-worth the investment in the long run.
But I just read that they’re estimating 250,000 people are going to be out there, using the trails. As much as I’d love to see a healthier planet, I don’t want them out there when I’m skating. Especially with their dogs on their 50 ft. extenda leashes, and definitely not those Lance-Wanna-Be’s – because you know how I feel about them. So I’m all for sharing, just don’t be out there early in the morning, unless you know how to keep right. Passing on your left…
First Loser 