Monthly Archives: November 2010

Plus size gift certificates

Crazy Glenn is at it again!!! That’s right folks…straight from the man, to you, on a crazy Black Friday! Plump, PLump, PLUMP UP your skating gifts this year with a Plus Size Gift Certificate from Crazy Glenn!

HAVE AN INSANE BLACK FRIDAY!!!

Order a Gift Certificate from Glenn and he’ll add 10% as a bonus to the certificate! Ca Ching!!! You read it right, here’s the skinny…purchase a $100 Gift Certificate for you or your favorite skater and the Certificate will be made out for $110. Simple math to add up to big savings for you! He’s insane and you gain! To get the deal, you must email glenn916@yahoo.com TODAY – Friday, November 26th, 2010. Even if Glenn doesn’t respond today (he’ll be out shopping too you know…probably BB&B…), as long as your email is “postmarked” on the 26th, you’ll be eligible to recieve the Plus 10% Certificate. Expiration date on the Certificate will be March 31, 2011, good on any merchandise Glenn Koshi peddles.  Makes a nice gift (but you KNOW THIS!!!)

AND DON’T FORGET!!! Glenn’s got MAD, MAD, MAD DEALS on his existing inventory: Make some happy skater’s 8 wheel dreams come true: CLICK HERE!

Get your consumerism fix on with a great deal here, now, then strap on your skates and hit the malls fast – it’s Black Friday man – our economic recovery is counting on you!!!

Crazy Glenn – his prices are truly INSANE!!!

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Happy Thanksgiving

Don’t be a porn star for the TSA by just walking into their prurient, high tech peep show booths without a fight…just roll right through those checkpoints, naked in your inline skates and let them chase you…most of them could use the exercise anyway.

The humiliation of saftey...get a grip.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cuckin Fold

Cold weather skating never used to bother me but I guess ol’ fart syndrome is catching up with me, cause as I’ve gotten another year older my tolerance for the cold has shriveled up quicker than George Costanza’s manhood in a cold pool. I want to roll on up inside a warm cavity and stay neatly snuggled beneath a warm downy blanket, only to be coaxed out of hiding by a warm shower or a vigorous rub down. (The later with the former being the ideal of course…)

They didn't tell me the skates came with the latest bluefoot technology.

This is my first winter in boots that were built exclusively for speed. Having ordered my boots 1/2 size smaller than my true shoe size, and after heat-molding them to my feet, I can’t wear them comfortably with socks. Yesterday I figured out just how much I’m going to miss the extra padding and warmth when I’m heading out to trail skate this winter…Mmmm, yeah, looks like I’ll be putting in even more time indoors this winter than I did last year. Could be worse, right?

As a lot of you know, indoor inline speed skating is a lot different than skating outdoors. Almost everything I’ve learned indoors has helped me become a more efficient technical skater outdoors, and that’s the primary reason I love it so much. I don’t leave it all in the rink. The knowledge is portable and adaptable. It works when you work it, no matter where you’re using it. But, of course, you’ve got to think it through, find your strengths and improve on your weaknesses if you want to get faster. Since that’s what I want, that’s what I’ve been doing…thinking about the basics and also doing a lot of foundational drills.

This year’s been great, in that I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress, both indoor and out. Indoor, this was the first year where I’d set and achieved a personal speed goal. Getting that out of the way toward the end of what I’d call the regular indoor season, it was hard not to immediately set a new speed goal and go for it once I hit the one I was shooting for. But I’ve purposely resisted the temptation to push it further before the year is out, opting to simply stop, claim some progress, and set myself up to have something to shoot for in 2011. I’ve still got a lot to work on, that’s for sure, and that’s the reason I’m sticking to the basics for the rest of the year.

I’ve been concentrating on balance, body position and simple mechanics. I’ve also been stretching more cause I’m just not very flexible. Never have been. But anyway…Over the last few weeks, I’ve been getting some great tips from my coach on how to position my shoulders, use my arms and feather step into turns at high speed. It’s been paying off, but it’s a lot of work. It’s required me to break things down a bit and work on my stride in small pieces, rebuilding from the ground up. I’ll admit, it’s easier for me to actually do this because I teach the Rink Rabbits class, and we’re hammering on the basics all the time. Honestly, I don’t think I’d be where I’m at today if it weren’t for the Rink Rabbits.

Here’s a video of one of the drills that’s been very helpful in attacking a lot of my problem areas. Both Speedy Weezy and I watched and listened and tried to do what Mantia was telling us at the Technical Clinic we had with him and his friends back in September

As you can see, I was all over the place with my arms, swinging and turning my upper body. I was also rushing into the crossover, not really getting my weight distributed properly, ending up with a weak under-push. Speedy Weezy was setting up in an A-frame, and bobbing up and down. Having all this pointed out has helped me help us both, and I’ve been able to in turn help the rest of the Rink Rabbits with their problem areas. We’ve all been working hard at fixing these foundational pieces, and for a lot of the team, the work has really been paying off. Young and old, experienced and noob alike, these simple foundational type drills are really proving to be just what the speed doctor ordered. We’re becoming better skaters from the ground up, especially Speedy Weezy, Speed Demon, The Brothers Speed and Speed Lord. They’ve been much more determined to do things right since the clinic. They’ve become very purposeful. It’s been great to watch and be a part of their growth.

So, not wanting to deal with the cold and the wind anymore, I got up at the crack of sanity and went to Rollerland to “treat” myself to a private practice this morning. Armed with a big cup of Starbucks and an iPod full of instructional video clips that Mantia gave us, I set out to prove to myself just how much I want to be a better technical skater. Seriously, my goal is to do these early morning rink runs at least once or twice a week now through the rest of the year.We’ll see how that goes…

Here’s what my workout looked like this morning:

– 100 Laps Warm Up

– Right Leg / Left Leg Balance – 3x each leg

– Base Position Roll – 6x total

– Right / Left Leg Rolling Leaps – 3x each leg

– Large Circle Drill (Video Above) – 1 minute, 3x total

– Right / Left Leg Glide – 3 laps (6 corners each leg)

– Crossover Glide – 6x total

– Right / Left Leg Push – 1 minute, 3x each leg

That took an hour, and I was back to the house well before I needed to be to work. I wonder if I can get the survailance video to see what my form looks like? Or maybe just ask the coach to review it and give me some pointers. In any event, it was a great way to start the day, and I’m really going to make an effort to get more of this training in.

Or…hell, I could suck it up, get used to the bluefoot sensation and give ice a try, but that’s something I swore I’d never do…just like the rest of this stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving – Gobble, Gobble HEY!

Attention all Bont shoppers

Here’s a screaming deal for all you Bont aficionado’s or those of you who’ve been thinking about getting a pair for Christmas…direct from Glenn Koshi:

All in-stock (Glenn’s inventory) Jet boots, normally $205, now $150100mm Jet packages, normally $399, now $299. 110mm Jet packages, normally $420, now $320.  Shipping and taxes extra, please.

Email or call the man, NOW! 24 hours a day, 7 days a week…his prices are so low he’s practically giving it all away! Call or email CRAZY GLENN today…his prices are INSANE (while supplies last)! 760-798-1788 or glenn916@yahoo.com.

I needed that

In the dizzying spiral of days that wrapped up late summer and started the fall indoor inline speed skating training season, life got faster. Not necessarily on the track or trail, but in general. Somewhere along the way, the rules changed too, and the expectations I have of myself got higher. Commitments and responsibility are starting to get in the way of my inline skating. WTF?

11 days off and I'm right back to where I started...

I’m not the same skater I was a year ago, and training took a toll I didn’t expect this year…it led to fatigue and low-grade burnout. Like Pooky in New Jack City, all I want to do is high-step it into the Enterprise room and get beamed up to Scotty. All these years of smoking polyurethane seem to have caught up with me…

I tried to kick... but that s#*t just be callin' me man, it be callin' me, man... I just got to go to it!

It’s been a great year, the best so far that’s for sure. My involvement in the sport has run deeper than I would have volunteered for at any one time, and it’s all good, too. It’s been a gradual progression, albeit quick. One of those things where you just decide you’re going to do something, set about getting it done and sit back and say, “Wow…how did that happen?” Do that over and over and the s#*t starts to pile up. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced anything like that, or if that statement makes a lot of sense, but I don’t have a lot of time to over-analyze my writing or edit myself if I expect this blog post to get done anytime soon…

The burnout symptoms came out of nowhere, but yet in looking back I guess I could have seen the warning signs if I’d been looking for them. I’ve been in that special place reserved for those that over-train before, and I can tell you…this bout of burnout was something different. It grew over a few weeks of Indian Summer, where the world of long distance outdoor inline skating was bumping up against the foundation building of indoor inline speed training. Here’s my takeaway, the two disciplines play really well together when it’s early in the year and you’re working on building up speed indoor, but that relationship goes to shite faster than Lucy finding Ricky in the back bedroom with Ethel and a sixer of Four Loco when you’re still burning up the trail outdoor, and you’ve torn it all down to rebuild your foundation on the indoor oval…it can snap your will to skate.

Before this, I thought I’d done a stellar job of creating a better skate / life balance this year. I’d put my house in order, allowing the changing needs of my growing little family to take priority. I’d changed my training routine in so many ways this year that at a certain point, although I’d been skating harder than ever, with more purpose and intensity, I felt like I was cutting myself short and not training frequently enough. Of course that was all in my head, but in years past that feeling and thoughts like it had always been motivators to make the time I needed to skate and just get out there and put in the miles. Not this year. Those thoughts and feelings of not doing enough started to weigh more and became de-motivators…

Your passion is...illogical.

The burnout warning signs glow like neon in the cold, dark night now, but I couldn’t see it when it was happening…started taking more days off for “healing” than I used to…was satisfied with shorter distance skates at lunchtime…stopped skating in the morning all together…let a little wind stop me from gearing up…put off updating this blog…stayed away from the chat forums…started to think all of the pros ARE doping and didn’t give a s#*t…was actually happy to tell Horseypants that I wouldn’t bring my skates for 11 sun filled days in Naples, Florida…really didn’t care that we wouldn’t have an internet connection to watch the Inline Speed Skating World Championships when we were on vacation…didn’t miss my skates at all while we were in Florida…found it very hard to get back into the swing of things when we got back to Colorado…for the first time found myself thinking about the logistics of canceling a Rink Rabbits practice the day of practice…gave up the idea of chartering a team…there was actually more.

In all of this, except for our trip to Florida, I’ve been skating. But my heart was a half-beat behind. I just didn’t feel like I was sitting comfortably in the pocket. And it dawned on me that it was fear that was driving me when I was actually skating…fear of losing my legs, destroying my base, that fear drove me to keep skating and doing dry-land exercises. It wasn’t that I really wanted to be doing any of it. And that, for me, is the key. The desire and passion to be on my skates was really just not there like it has been for the last six years. For me, that’s just not right…

My passion for inline was in perfect hibernation.

When I started to realize that it wasn’t so much fun anymore, or at least as fun as it used to be, I started thinking about other sports…and concluded that I’m not a jock and really don’t care to participate in any competitive sports at all. All or nothing thinking crept back in. I’m either in this or I’m just not. Well, at least that was a comfortable emotional place to be for me. And I think it was from there that I started feeling a little bit better. I know I’m in it, it’s to what level, that’s the question.

I don’t know how long the gray skies would have lingered, but I do know what snapped me out of it…

¿Dónde está el baño?

It was a blog post by a writer named Matthew DeGeorge about Alex Cujavante’s, ah, mistake, at the 2010 Inline Speed Skating World Championships in Guarne, Colombia this year. If you haven’t seen this video, it’s really horrendous. Alex is rounding the last corner of a 20,000 meter race and he thinks he’s far enough ahead of the pack that he can stand up and showboat across the finish line in front of a hometown crowd. Sang Cheol Lee of South Korea didn’t stop skating and came right up his rear…taking the gold from Alex and making him a viral internet superstar. Watch the video. I’d love to know what the Colombian commentators are saying.

Anyway…this blog post. Mr. DeGeorge has a way with words. He essentially tears our sport to shreds, writing things like, “…Cujavante was competing in the 20,000 meter race, which, if it seems like a ludicrous distance to cover wearing a child’s toy on your feet…is. (I can only imagine a mile long pogo race as its equivalent.)” And, “…Colombian speed roller skater (seriously!)” Topped off with a third snark, “…Lee’s winning time in the marathon (actually, they have one of those, too!)”

Reading all that I was like, “Dammmmnnnnn. A child’s toy on his feet.” Now I’m not generally known to have a thin skin, and I thought the “pogo race” comment was pretty snappy, but I was ready to call it quits. What a joke. Here in the US, the sport will never be taken seriously. World Champ Wouter Hebbrecht thought it might be a good idea to track Mr. DeGeorge down and bring him to an inline event. Would it help the perception of our sport out there on the internet and in the world? I don’t know, but I bet Mr. DeGeorge would walk away with a new appreciation for our sport after having seen, met and watched some of our best athletes in action.

That aside…At some point it occurred to me…I remembered…one of my problems is that I end up taking things too seriously and THAT’S what feeds the burnout. THAT’S what saps the joy and fun out of skating for me.

DON’T TAKE THIS S#*T SO SERIOUSLY…As it turns out, DeGeorge’s blog post was just what the doctor ordered. The video IS funny. It’s a damn shame that Mr. Cujavante had to learn that lesson in front of the world, but seriously…looks like he needed the lesson. And c’mon…after re-reading DeGeorge’s comments, what he wrote was funny. A child’s toy indeed! This sport does keep you young. Young in fitness and young at heart. And if you’ve lost the ability to laugh at yourself, all is lost. At least in my mind. Hell, I remember when I first heard about the “serious” side of this sport – I was incredulous to the point of ridicule too. Even when I started skating outdoors, I swore I’d never be a skin-suit weenie like you. But hey…look how far I’ve come, despite all of that and crap like it.

Here’s our reality…and sorry if it’s hard to read but it’s the truth. If DeGeorge’s comments are hard for you to swallow, just realize that there are just too many people here in the US who have no clue that our inline world exists. So even coverage like this is good, because it builds awareness. Ain’t that some s#*t?!

It was only after I was able to think all that through that I was able to laugh it all off. All of the months of ambivalence and doubt. The time off was good for me. It’s time to get “serious.” Time to get back to what I love doing, for the reasons I love doing it…I love to eat pizza – like 5 slices on a Friday night – and skating allows me to eat whatever the hell I want with impunity, despite my slowing metabolism. THAT’S why I do this…cause I love to eat and I like being thin. Simple. Oh, yeah, and skating IS actually fun. Almost forgot…

So with that, I went downstairs, got my skates out of the trunk and skated with a renewed passion and interest. The next day it snowed. So it goes…