I wasn’t much for advanced mathematics in school. Other than the ability to grasp metric measures and dollar equivlants (grams, ounces, lids…) I was a zero when it came to questions that required computation to answer. That I came to end up working in marketing but specializing in data analysis is beyond me. There’s a lot of math involved in what I do. More than my brain can handle sometimes. There’s a lot of mystery in the art and science of analytics. But perhaps the greatest mystery I’ve come across lately is something I think Mr. Spock would even have a problem with: what algorithm is going to return “First Loser | Inline Skater” based on search input criteria “Strap on baby wipe dispenser?”
Search terms reveal a lot about why people are looking for a website. And I’m not so full of myself that I think people actually seek me out. No. When it comes to inline skating, they’re looking for one guy right now. The chances are pretty high that you know exactly who I’m talking about, ’cause that’s how you came to find this post too.
Any in-stock Bont Platinum blades (top-of-the-line!), normally $450, this month only, $375.
NEW – full custom Bont Patriot boots and Platinum blades, $1000! Note that the blades alone normally retail for $450. Shipping and applicable taxes extra, please.
Email Glenn today: email@example.com
AND NOW, BACK TO OUR POST…
It’s true. “Mantia” is the number one search term in inline skating. “Joey Mantia” is number two. It’s how people find this site and countless others. And as I scan the logs of my site traffic, it’s easy to see what people are really interested in reading about. Other than the picture of all the hotties dressed as Slave Girl Princess Leia that I posted around the holidays, the posts that have anything related to Mantia get the most repeat traffic. So…while it may be counter-intuitive to some that I consolidate all of that content, that’s zactly whut I’ma gone do.
Here are all of the Mantia posts, all in one place. But listen, no homo man. I’m doin’ you a favor here. So don’t go breakin’ my balls, pal. You want to skate better, then you need to study the best. So just consider this a coach’s corner…a session with the man through this twisted skater’s lens:
Read, watch, analyze and learn. You’ll be a better skater…more precise, more competitive and better equipped to help the next skater that asks you for pointers. Cause that’s the code of conduct – you’re not allowed to keep this stuff to yourself. Make the sport more competitive – share your stride techniques ya greedy bastid! Say what you will about Mantia, but he’s a guy completely dedicated to growing this sport, one skater at a time if necessary. Just look at what he and Miguel Jose are doing with NSC, that’s dedication.
Another guy who’d give you the skates right off his feet if he thought it would help you is my coach, Jondon Trevena. A two time Olympian and one of the first guys to make the transition from inline to ice, Jondon is the kind of coach that puts his skaters first. He’s the one that gave us the use of his family’s rink to host the Mantia clinic we had, and he even participated and deferred to Mantia & Co. so that his students could learn, (even when what we were learning was something he’d been telling us for years.) Visit his site JondonSpeed, and come skate with us if you’re ever in Northern Colorado on a Sunday morning.
CRAZY GLENN BACK AT IT AGAIN!
WOW! Glenn felt so bad about interrupting the Mantia Super Post that he’s back to make things tight with you…order anything from him today and get an additional 20 EFFIN PER-CENT OFF!!! Seriously, he’s serious. I’d swap my own mother with narco-terrorists to get an additional 20% off on a sweet pair of Bonts. Fortunately, you don’t have to! Just email Glenn today: firstname.lastname@example.org for God’s sake! What are you waiting for???
Doesn’t apply to other discounts.