Tag Archives: Dr. Seuss

Good to be a Gangsta

Didn’t get to skate yesterday morning. I’ve had a side-line as an independent marketing consultant for the last 9 years or so and yesterday, tragedy struck. Yesterday morning will now forever be known as Oh Crap Thursday. I was spinning my wheels in full freak-mode. My first employee had left me sometime past midnight in the wee hours of the morning. All that was left behind was a note:

Primary Drive 0 is not found…

I quickly tried to resuscitate my loyal companion, because I could hear a distinct rhythmic clicking, but all I could bring up was this:

NTLDR is missing Press CTRL + Alt + Del to restart

And this is where it was left, in a looping hell of Hard Drive Death. A post out to Facebook confirmed what every computer Geek forum was saying – the drive is kaput! Good bye friend. You’ve served me well. You’ve provided countless hours of service to the company and the family and you will be missed.

Left a nice scratch on the carbon fiber, but it was worth it.

But why did you have to die on TAX DAY!!! You, you, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?! The fear started to creep in. Hell, there was no creeping, it juked me full on at 35 mph in the space of a moment that only a guy like Apolo Ohno (Oh no, indeed!) could insert himself into, and I slipped to the Darkside.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Up yours Yoda. I’m pissed. That’s when it’s a good time to fall back on old habits and new friends that spend time doing bad things. I called my boys to dispose of the goods and send a message to the other computers that work for me.

And as I quickly pass through the stages of grief, I move to a casual WTF place, because after all, I trust no one and nothing, especially technology products. So at the end of the day, the bastard hard drive lost, because everything that was really important I had saved on two external hard drives.

I can even laugh about it now. But it’s because I found perspective…

Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the mem’ry makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,
then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s gonna crash!!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
‘cuz sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you’ll have to flash the memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and get the hell out of town before IT finds out it’s because you spilled your Starbucks in it.

On the tax thing, I had used Turbo Tax and submitted my forms the night before from the laptop. Could you imagine had I not?! That would have been a HUGE disaster! OMG!!! But as it turns out, the impact was actually minor. Thank God! (We said several prayers of gratitude!) So I was able to get an afternoon skate in after all, which is all I care about anyway. Damn, it feels good to be a Gansta.

4/14/10 Training: Was able to get 10 miles in skating in the hood after work. I was skating along when HorseyPants, Speed Demon and Speedy Weezy pulled up alongside me in the Honda to cheer me on, and race me! It’s fun to hear them say with awe, “We were going 25 and we still couldn’t catch you!”

4/15/10 Training: 12 miles on the skate trail in Loveland at lunch. No wind – I didn’t know what to do with myself! I worked on using my knees to push myself forward. Life is good when you’re working on form.

(How’d I do TASII?)