A skater rolls into a rink…

A man walked into a bar in Lincoln he’d never been in before and ordered a drink. He then asked the bartender if he enjoyed dumb-skater jokes.

The lop-sided attendant with massive quads and scrawny arms leaned over the bar and said, “Listen, sport, see those two guys on the left? They’re professional inline speedskaters. And that guy over there with the thighs bigger than the Incredible Hulk’s is a world champion. That lanky guy in the corner is the fastest man on skates. And I won the open division in the Northshore Inline Marathon three years in a row. Now,” he continued, “are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your dumb-skater joke here?”

“Nah, I guess not,” the man replied. “I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”


Okay, so the speedskater from Denver couldn’t make it to Nationals this year. When he was driving down Route 80 and saw the sign that said “Lincoln Left”, he turned around and went home.

Thank you, thank you. I got million of ’em…

The inline speedskater was trying to pick up a coed at a fraternity party when she told him that she was much more turned on by academic types than dumb-skaters.

“So,” she said, “what`s your G.P.A.?”

The speed skater smiled, puffed up his chest and said, “I get about twenty-five in the city and forty on the highway!”

Gaaazinga! Gotcha with that one, eh? Oh…sorry, too close to home?

An Irish skater, an English skater and a Scottish skater approached the starting line. “What’s this, some kind of joke?” asked Jim White.

Groan! Ha! Well if you thought that was bad, try this:

The head coach was sitting in the stands at the Pershing Center, his head in his hands.

“What’s wrong Coach?” asked one of the many competing skater/sales rep/coaches.

“I need a raise, they don’t pay me enough to put up with these skaters.”

“What are you talking about Coach? You get one of the best per diem’s in the league.”

“Here, watch this. Hey Flaco, come here.” Flaco skates over to the rail. “Skate over to the hotel and see if I’m there.” “Sure thing Coach.” says Flaco, and away he skates.

20 minutes later Flaco returns, “No Coach, you’re not there.”

The skater/rep/coach turns to the Coach and says, “Okay, I see what you mean. I would have just called.”

Share when you get it.

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