The Third Day of Inline Christmas

The anticipation is getting intense…

T’was the Third Day of Inline Christmas…When I looked in the mirror, what looked back was a skater, who’d grown chubby and plump with a little round belly, that when tucked into base position hung like a Hefty sack full of jelly. Too many cookies and holiday treats, would make for slower times the next few skate meets. To maintain not gain was my holiday goal, by mid-December t’was on a roll. But in these last twelve days I’d somehow lost pace, with so many cookies and cakes and tempting treats in my face. But with a wink of my eye and a twist of my head, I’ll turn tonight’s speed practice from work to a party instead. ‘Cause Christmastime is all about fun, and laughter and joy not how many races you’ve won. A few extra pounds this week doesn’t phase, for holiday fun’s what’s important these days, and I know that next week I’ll be shedding the weight, by pulling the pace line, not drafting the skate.

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom

We’re getting down to the wire…and thank God for that. I’m starting to rhyme everything and I’m getting fat. I love Christmastime, don’t get me wrong, but this crazy twelve days thing has gone on way too long. It’s taking time from my skating, I’ve blown a few days, looking at words and thinking of ways, to make skater rhymes meaningful and snappy, but honestly I know, some are just crappy. And as I sit and I write I keep eating these treats, when I should really be out skating the streets. A Poet Laureate I’ll never be, just First Loser the hack blogger…yep, that’s me.

Greievous' Tsmeu-6. Catch me now Kenobi...b!%#h!

Drawing upon a robust history of development that began with an original design conceived in Marseilles, France in 1869, and perfected by Z-Gomot Ternbuell Guppat Corporation in the Zug system, the Tsmeu-6 is the motorized monocycle made in the Netherlands that propels a single rider up to 25 MPH. While it probably wouldn’t outrun a varactyl beast named Boga, it’ll be fun to draft behind on the skate trail. Powered by a 31cc, four-stroke 1 1/2-hp engine, the wheel operates by using a centrifugal clutch on its inner steel frame to engage the larger 67″ diam. outer flywheel that actually makes contact with the ground with a rubber tire. The ingenious device is steered by leaning to one side or the other, and it can safely negotiate any dense surface such as pavement or grass. A fiberglass frame encloses the engine, drive train, and fuel tank, and provides a cushioned seat and convenient footrests for riders up to 6′ 3″ high when in a sitting position. The hand-holds have a finger throttle that provides progressive acceleration and a brake that provides confident stops for riders up to 275 lbs. (minimum weight of 110 lbs. suggested for proper counterbalance during acceleration and braking). It can run for up to two hours on less than a 1/2-gallon of gasoline. Not a street-legal vehicle, but neither are skates here in Northern Colorado, so who gives! I’m getting one of these bad boys. Oh, but wait, there’s that price tag…67″ diam. x 14″ W. (110 lbs.)

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