Slippin’, Slidin’, Electroglidin’

I was reading the Old Farmer’s Almanac today and, there’s really no kind, old-fashioned way to put this –  it said I’m screwed. It’s going to be a long cold winter here in Colorado this year. The snow that comes early usually melts pretty quickly. We don’t shovel here on the northern Front Range, we sweep. Not this year though.   

"There's an 80% chance you're pooched till March, Buddy. Take up ice skating, there's more of a future there."

Temperatures here have been frigid, but they’re warming up. It was in the 30’s today. With the sun at high noon, it’s really not that bad to be out and active in. I was going to try to hit the rec path at lunch but that just wasn’t in the cards.

SIDE RANT: I do not refer to the Recreation Path as the Bike Path for obvious reasons. Skater’s Rule, Cyclists Drool. Up yours – I’m faster than you anyway, Lance. ON YOUR LEFT!

I digress…We’re fortunate here in the Loveland / Fort Collins area in that we’ve got something like 40+ miles of paved rec path, and during the winter months the Parks & Rec folks do a darn good job of keeping the paths clear. They’ve got the mini-me of snowplows and they use them! So other than the occasional spot of ice under one of the overpasses, we’re free and clear to skate year-round if we can brave the cold. I’m hoping to get out at Boyd Lake with my buddy John before Friday. We’ll see. 

In the meantime, there’s the slideboard. You know, the skater’s version of a dry-hump. It’s almost as good as the real thing, and it leaves you just as spent and wet in the end. A masterblader’s dream, it’s truly a wonderful invention. I put in an hour on it this evening, and I’m happy to claim a little progress: I’m finally able to do it like Derek  does in this clip:  

down in the heel, belly on thigh, with a tight arm swing. It wasn’t this easy last year. And hey – no (severe) back pain. I guess that’s another benefit of all the indoor training. I’ll take it! 

Or there’s always ice skating. What with that little party up in Canada in a few months, everyone is talking about it. But Speedy Weezy and I tried it, and we both decided it’s not for us. But I really bailed because he didn’t like it. Maybe we could get all geared up like hockey players, but do ice speed skating instead. Or, better yet, Roller Derby On Ice! Really high-speed, super sharp blades, and really cool armor. 

A few years from now, post-apocalyptic Canada will come to know the meaning of Toecutter.

A few years from now, post-apocalyptic Canadians will come to know the Toecutter of ice.

OK – I took the inspiration for that one from a blog I read earlier. The writer said her son likes to skate for the gear. In his case it’s hockey. He can wear a chest protector, shin guards, elbow pads, gloves, and helmet when they go grocery shopping. He does this because “it makes me look like a Transformer.” Should have thought of something like that for Speedy Weezy. 

Man, time to go take a shower, I smell like Mad Max’s leather after a month in the Outback – crikey! 

12/15/09 Training: Did about 150 laps indoor with John & David. John has been working hard on indoor form and is really coming along quickly. He doesn’t see the speed like we do. He’s improved a lot in just a month back inside. Still, we’d both rather be outdoors, and hopefully we can do that before Friday. 

12/16/09 Training: 1 hour on the slideboard. Worked on staying low by keeping my belly on my thigh. It’s easier to do that when you’ve been eating cookies all freaking day.

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One response to “Slippin’, Slidin’, Electroglidin’

  1. made my day to see that video I shot of Derek online.

    I’ve seen it on skaters ipod videos.. damm thing’s been watched 45,000 times…

    ya never know what one does, in a public place, that people will really enjoy..

    keep on rocking the training, the slideboard is your friend. And give ice a try again, it’s cool.

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